And now: Remorse.

It’s the modern nightmare tale of a girl, Penelope, who takes a wrong turning and gets stuck in a Tiger era call centre job for 10 years. I am having great fun exploiting my own past office jobs in – ehem – Certain Large Corporations. The environment offers such rich pickings: the cast of characters, for instance, your chancers, your jokers, your slackers, your workhorses, your whiners. The guy who was always asleep, the Line Manager who Seriously. Never. Did. A. Tap. The one that cried into her keyboard, the one that cursed in his cubicle. The scandal at the vending machine, the conversations at the water cooler, the meetings. ‘Twas ever thus, was it not?

Yes. The meetings. The endless, endless, giddy-making, boring meetings. Oh the sheer, unadulterated boredom stretching for miles in all directions! And the business speak! The business speak Battleship games!

Yes, yes, YES. This is all very fun.

So far, I am working on Penelope.

[Those who thought of Odysseus when I mentioned Penelope and the 10 years: you’re a flipping associative genius. Oughtn’t you be doing some nuclear fusion, or something?)